Once upon a time in a land far far away, there lay a lioness
and a lion under a great big tree. This lion and lioness rules all of their
kingdom, with their reach being far and wide. These two lions ate antelope
exclusively and the hyenas that also lived in the kingdom knew this. One day, one
of the hyenas decided to paint itself like an antelope. This hyena was big so
it looked like a big antelope when it was painted. This made it look nice and
juicy for the other lions. The King Lion was convinced by the Queen lion to go
follow the big juicy antelope around until he catches it. The King Lion chased
the “antelope” around and through his whole domain. Eventually he catches it,
and when he does he killed it with a humongous bite. After he killed the hyena’s
soul came out of the body and talked to the King Lion. Turns out the hyena was actually possessed by a demon! The hyena’s soul let out
a big roar, the same way the King Lion did. The roar was the same type of roar
that the lion made when he was in pain. This roar carried for miles, as lion roars
carry on for long distances. The Lioness heard it and got concerned. She talked
to her trusty adviser the monkey and he told her that he is not to leave her
side. After much more convincing, the monkey finally leaves to check on the
Lion King.
A portrait of the Lion King from my story
Source: Pixabay
Authors note: This story is a retelling of The Golden Deer and The Chase from the Ramayana Part B. In these stories Rama is convinced by Sita to go chase a golden deer but the deer was actually another form of a Rakshasa. The deer gets killed and the Rakshasa comes out and starts talking like Rama. Sita hears and convinces Lakshana to go and check on Rama.
Hi Srikar! I really enjoyed your version of the Golden Deer story. I thought it was so clever to replace the characters with animals in this case. It works really well!
ReplyDeleteI liked the idea of the hyena painting himself to look like an antelope. It gives the story a very mythological and whimsical feel. You also did a great job with detail--I loved the way you emphasized the size of the hyena.
I wonder why the hyena/demon went after the lion? That confused me a little, but maybe the demon was just looking to possess or get revenge on the lion? Or maybe it was trying to distract the lion so that someone else could get to the lioness, like in the Ramayana?
It could be interesting to add in some more thoughts from the lion to give him more character. But I also think you did a great job of explaining some of his thoughts through his actions (like how his roar indicated pain).
Anyways, great job!
Hi Srikar! I liked your version of the story. I think the animal switch that you put on it was really nice. It made some of the parts of the story seem more believable- like the lion roar v.s Rama's voice. I think more detail and longer descriptions could have made this story even better. It looks like you could continue this story with these animals!
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